You know the infomercials I mean. Those long-winded TV ads pushing robotic vacuum cleaners and knife sets with enough variations on blades to make any ardent serial killer smile, and that always seem programmed to entrap stay-at-home pensioners or mums with tots once Peppa Pig or Paul Henry are done, or at night in the wee wee hours when shift workers want something decent to watch but can only find these incessant late-night infomercials with Donald Trump-pitched voiceovers, or men with Trump’s comb-over hair surrounded by enough fruit to feed an army, and with blonde models by their side nodding yes at their claims; or, in the case of the worst of their ilk, literally swallowing whatever green concoction their nutri-product whizzed up, then smiling their fake smile.
The Nutri-Bullet. Yes! The infomercial where I howl, “Just eat the fruit!” Well, that’s how I view what the pro-amalgamation campaigners are about.